@iLikeCatShirts: Me [trying to sound intellectual]: okay, okay which came first turkey the bird or Turkey the *points at map*
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@blaudiablogan: Guy asked me where I got my green eyes. Great! Now I have to explain what the Vikings did when they got to Sicily.
@TheCatWhisprer: [trying to stop my toddler's tantrum in a restaurant] *harsh whisper* If you don't cut it out right now then there's nothing else I can do
@Try2StopME: Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo.
@MartaEffing: Tonight's Menu: Gourmet pork blend sausage with organic tomato reduction, served on warm split bread rolls. AKA: Hot dogs with ketchup.