@JoanBaileyy: Me: " *types in password*, Password Doesn't Work" ** OMG I'M HACKED**.... *oh wait... never mind, CAPS LOCK WAS ON..*
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@Hormonella: Facebook is terrific way to connect with classmates who haven't aged as well as you.
@Vodkantots: Cop: Do you know how fast you were going, ma'am? Me: I left my pills in my other bag & I'm about to get REALLY chatty. C: You're free to go.
@Vodkantots: It's like my nana always used to say: If you really hate him that much, just marry him and then get fat.