@JoanBaileyy: Me: " *types in password*, Password Doesn't Work" ** OMG I'M HACKED**.... *oh wait... never mind, CAPS LOCK WAS ON..*
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@LaurenRP: I went outside without makeup on. A child cried and I think a bird flew into a window on purpose.
@JediGigi: Him: When I suggested we try a little role play, this is not what I had in mind Me: [in Jabba the Hutt costume] JUST PUT ON THE GOLD BIKINI
@Brianhopecomedy: My wife handed me a mop so I inspected it and said, "You're good to go, woman!" and now the mop handle is in a funny place.