@JB4Realz: I can't take my dog to the pond because the ducks keep attacking him... Guess that's what get for buying a pure bread dog.

@CatLitterGirl: Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.

@LackOfShame: Her: Let's just drop it. Me: Fine. Her: Me: Her: I just find it funny how... Me: *opens car door and shoulder rolls out into traffic*

@EdnaSugar: There's way too much blood in my alcohol system today

@The_JRM: I sometimes lie awake and wonder how much useful information I've left out of my brain to make room for these Hanson songs.