@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist

@ibid78: *uses handkerchief* Well now that this is used, it seems I won't be blowing my nose again til laundry day.

@kevnasto: According to my autocorrect, i'm wearing edible pantries

@Parentpains: Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep.

@Adar79Angie: There's Angie, and then there's Drunk Angie, and one of us tried to make it to Mexico on an exercise bike.