@ibid78: Angel: "I think we can all agree that 6 is enough."
God (clearly upset about something else): "NO. GIVE SPIDERS 8 LEGS."
@TheToddWilliams: ME: How do I tell Billy his grampa died?
WIFE: Just say he went up to the sky…
{later}
ME: Your grampa's on the International Space Station
@iwearaonesie: wife: You're going to work like that?
me: Yeah, it's casual day
[20 minutes later]
me *calls wife* Can you bring me some pants?
@ceejoyner: ENEMY: can you smell that? That's fear.
ME: the baked goods?
ENEMY: no. focus on your fear.
ME: we must be knife fighting behind a bakery
@PJTLynch: Annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there's always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
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