@WilliamAder: Me winding up as the last man on earth is an unlikely scenario, but an awful lot of women seem to have already thought it through.
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@OldSpookMan: I overheard my daughter asking the little boy next door, "Are you the opposite sex, or am I."
@Los01001111: My Wife does this cute thing where she says that "actions speak louder than words" and then gets pissed at me for just nodding.
@MarlonBrandNO: [Trapped on a Island] *Message in a bottle* "Please send help!" *Gets message back, months later* "Linda invited you to play Candy Crush"