@WilliamAder: Me winding up as the last man on earth is an unlikely scenario, but an awful lot of women seem to have already thought it through.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Parentpains: I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys.
@notalogin: After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn't shut up about how he was into her before she got big.
@GoldenSpirals: Hit a squirrel with my car on the way home from the grocery store. If I knew that was going to happen, I wouldn't have bought all this meat.
@novicefather: The gingham is holding a grudge because burlap and seersucker didn't invite corduroy to their party. Social fabric is complex.