@moose_chocolate: Why does the media always call a stabbing incident a "violent" stabbing incident? Is it possible to stab someone non-violently?

@mdob11: 'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police.

@QwertyJones3: WEATHERMAN: The fog is extremely dense FOG: My husband took his secretary with him on a business trip, that's normal right?

@Lakeoconeebldr: My wife sure is picky for someone who married me.

@punmagnate: What idiot called it a meal of light colored carnival bus tickets of appropriate price and not a fair fair fair fare fare