@petemandik: ME [yelling down into a volcano]: You shut your stupid Earth mouth
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@david8hughes: "911 what's your emergency?" "Yeah, I've got so many questions about bees." *sighs* "Please hold for the president."
@elizabeth_fels: [Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*
@mattZillaaaa: Poured Tresemmé on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent