Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

@milehighocd: Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye.

Her: Why?

Me: *stabs fork into eye*

Me: You ask so many questions that I want to stab a fork in my eye. Her: Why? Me: *stabs fork into eye*
50 comments

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

@Scimommy: #BadTimeTravelAdvice Plague, shmlague. 13th century Europe is where it's at!

3

@: a:1:{s:7:"retweet";i:1;}

1

@bellicosejason: If you're behind someone at an ATM, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.

1

@kmdk83: I'm giving up my husband for Lent.

178

@Cpin42: HEY CALEB- YOUR COW IS INFERTILE AND YOUR SISTER LIKES DANCING. -Amish trash talk

771
↑