If bad ads/pop-ups are redirecting you, please take a screenshot and email it to [email protected]. Help us keep the site clean!
@LipLush1: Me: you married?
Me: your wife know about that?
@TheBoydP: Top Seven Things Men Don’t See Coming:
7. Plot twists
6. Police cruiser
4. Trash day
3. Health issues
2. Her reaction
@murrman5: excuse me, waitress?
"I'm not a waitress"
Oh, what are you then
"Well, I'm a..*turns to other burger king employee* what the hell are we?"
@stephenjmolloy: Ian: "I'd like to report my guide dog missing."
Cop: "Right. When did you last see him?"
Ian: "I've never seen him."
@pleatedjeans: Instead of yelling "Hello?" when u think a murderer's in your home, say "Goodbye" Then if he's there he'll be like well OK guess I'm leaving
@KentWGraham: Given their destructive force to homes, kids’ birthday parties should get names like hurricanes do. Birthday Party Hugo.