@slimmy_shady: Me: You've got the same stupid duck face in every picture! Daffy: Erm... :|
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@Nursey2Be: Women are like bacon: we look good, we smell good, we taste good and we will slowly kill you.
@AnOrangeSNES: [Victora's Secret] Wife: You're the most supportive person I know. *A person made of bras walks by* Me: Um what about that guy?
@ChefChas82: I should run for public office just to see the scandalous dirt they dig up on me. I would really like to piece together my twenties.
@TheRolo: I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you.