@_youhadonejob1: Meanwhile in Thailand.
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@thedad: [wakes up to crying in the night] Wife: can you go check the baby Me, climbing back into bed 2 mins later: yeah that was the baby
@Tmoney68: [Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?