@sozjalltheway: Meanwhile on Facebook, Susan is doing a quiz, to find out what kind of sea monster, her Ex is.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@WhaJoTalkinBout: If there is an opportunity for me to put my pants on backwards in the dark, I take it every time. Apparently.
@david8hughes: [steps off crosstrainer] "Hey girl [out of breath, hands on knee] you like f-fitness? Cos I'm fitn--" "Shall I call an ambulance?" "Please."
@UnfilteredMama: Friend w/o kids: I'm planning a meditation retreat next month. Me: One of my kids has been shaking a metal tin full of coins FOR AN HOUR.
@cogentanalysis: Sorry, guy outside grocery store with a heavy bag and one arm in a sling, but I can't help you. Ted Bundy ruined that for everyone.