@AbrasiveGhost: ME:[defending myself] Oh yeah?? Well I got 5 words for you buddy: please be nice to me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MDthrice: *on date* Me [don't let her know you're married] I have a wif..i hotspot on my phone. Her: oh that's cool. Me: yeah my wife got it for me.
@fro_vo: *Holds an old lady's hand as I help her across the street* don't worry ma'am i'm sure the doctors can sew it back on
@domesticH: wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!
@ceejoyner: wife: you're listening to too much theatrical heavy metal Me: behold! The weaver of lies! A dark seamstress of shadows lurks amongst us