@TheTweetOfGod: Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now.
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@SteelCityDawn: A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?
@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.
@TaylorVirtue: GUYS GUYS GUYS, I just saw this dude wearing the stupidest . . . False alarm, just a mirror.
@InkedUpKidder: My fan has two settings: - Barely moving. - Could propel a hovercraft across the Everglades.