@TheTweetOfGod: Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now.
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@lovemydogduck: Last year my ex and I dressed as opposing political parties for Halloween... best hate sex we ever had.
@ndiquote: My girlfriend is so crazy she even traced down the girl who once kissed me in kindergarten.
@kelkulus: For Earth Day, turn on your air conditioner and open your doors and windows. If we all work together, we can totally cool this planet.