@mattgallo123: Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.
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@kdelite8: Doctor: it's important to incorporate purple foods into your diet. Me: *eats purple cupcakes*
@hippieswordfish: ME: i need a loan so i can build a robot army to take over the world with BANKER: what M: oops i meant 'with which to take over the world'
@ventivodkacran: ...and the award for best lead actress in a dramatic role goes to me for "I Have A Sinus Infection, Why Don't You Care That I'm Dying"
@nonosimprov: Culturally speaking... Having a McDonald's in a WalMart is like finding a cyst in a tumour.