@mattgallo123: Meditation is fun when you want to do nothing for an hour but still feel a sense of accomplishment.
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@SCbchbum: My gal pal: "Are you on a diet? You look so nice & thin... What's you're secret?!" Me: "Poverty."
@TheToddWilliams: [lumberjack interview] BOSS: I'm gonna "axe" you a few questions. Haha do you get it? ME: Yeah I "saw" that coming BOSS: Ooo welcome aboard!
@77StephanieG77: I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do.