@DirtyMelodies: Medusa's hair is made of snakes. Does the carpet match the drapes?
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@QwertyJones3: "WHAT?? You ate the last of the cantaloupe?? This is the worst day ever!" Can you please stop being so melondramatic.
@AlyssaDiSalle: Co-worker: "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back it's yours to k.." Me - "THOSE ARE BOOMERANGS, MICHELLE."
@badenhorst: Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.