@lecalabara: Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that.
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@girlontapas: People without kids who give other people's kids messy or annoying toys.. Imagine that we gave you a monkey with a kazoo and fingerpaints..
@Reverend_Scott: Cop: Know why I stopped you? SUPER DANCE OFF?? Cop: OH YEAH OH YEAH? Cop: No, not really. There's a warrant for your arrest. oh no
@WheelTod: [First Date] Me: "I'm sorry. It's just that I've been burned before." *Stuffs handful of fries through visor in hazmat suit *Closes visor
@MrsMikePatton: Maybe if we press "2" for Spanish, we'll actually get someone that speaks English better then the person on the "1" line.