@lecalabara: Me:Everything you know about me is a lie.Coworker:So you didnt dance naked in the fountain at the mall?Me: Everything other than that.
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@SortaBad: Judge: Ms Spears, how do you plea? "I'm not. that. innocent." *frustrated defense counsel tosses like 9000 papers in the air*
@WritePlay: When people ask What Would Jesus Do, I remember how he hid in that cave for 3 days after people were so mean to him. That's more my speed.
@KyleMcDowell86: DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU