@BitterOldPunk: "Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus" is on, followed by "Mega Shark vs Crocasaurus". Nice job, SyFy. Way to GIVE AWAY THAT GIANT OCTOPUS LOSES.
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@Neauxpe: If you post a selfie that says "because some of you asked for a new one" I want to see screenshots of where they said that.
@djdarrellripley: Me: I grew a beard once & It actually looked just like yours. Him: Why'd you shave it off? Me: I just told you...
@DadandBuried: I'm more comfortable hearing my five-year-old repeat swear words in public than I am hearing him say "uh-oh!" from another room.
@withanewname: [trick or treating] "Oh, what a cute little…what's she doing?" Me: potty training. "In my pumpkin?!" Me: She likes the heated seat.