@9to5Life: Megan, but with an H? Whatever you say, girls named Hmegan.
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@the_moonface: I touch myself when I think of you. It's not what you're thinking, I'm mostly scratching my head wondering what I saw in you.
@SortaBad: If you watch Sleeping Beauty backwards it's about a prince who was so charming he kissed his girlfriend and she fainted for 17 years
@birbigs: Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?
@Westoff123: I'm going to buy a house near the St. Louis Airport and paint "Welcome to chicago" on my roof to confuse people who are about to land.