@sweet_toof: "Meh" -apathetic cow
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@Flossieraptor: Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby.
@Tmoney68: Research shows vacuum cleaners can cause hearing loss. "You should absolutely get rid of that monster," said one furry, panting scientist.
@Reverend_Scott: Ok doc, give it to me straight. "It's cancer" How bad? "Really bad, you have 2 months." OMG "APRIL FOOLS!" Whew- "You have 2 days."