@WarrenHolstein: Melania Trump says her husband is "not Hitler." That's true. Hitler had a mustache and adult-sized hands.
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@SteveKoehler22: I needed to get a shipment of almonds to the airport quickly. It was so weird to call Uber and ask if they could drive me nuts.
@NoogsCorner: That awkward moment when Batman opens the condom compartment instead of the Batarang compartment in his utility belt.
@grammar_c**t: Does anyone know the difference between an elk and a deer?nnCos I think I just ran over a cyclist.