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@yonewt: I know someone who puts raisins in meatballs so don't even try to talk to me about psychos
@OhNoSheTwitnt: They should punish kids who do well in school with more homework to prepare them for what happens to people who are efficient at their jobs.
@Underchilde: A friend was telling me about quantum mechanics and I told her how I hate it when the safety seal on ketchup leaves that clear film behind.
@Playing_Dad: [Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit