@LittleHarmonica: Men always say they like strong, smart women until you argue with them. And then they're all like: You talk too much....and I want my Mommy.
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@lilgapeach30: Daaaaamn boy. Are you an Adobe update? Cause you keep showing up and I still don't want you.
@iwearaonesie: wife: What's wrong? me [annoyed because the kids menu has a picture of a tree on it but they didn't give me any brown crayons] Nothing
@Breadery: My ex got engaged at Christmas but apparently responding to the news with "LOL" is "a representation of everything that is wrong with me."