@MrsTomServo: "Men are pigs" - misandrist &/or world's worst biologist
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@Token_Geezer: I'm doing the vacuuming.. It doesn't need doing but it's a legitimate way of annoying the kids
@UncleDuke1969: [job interview] Him: What’s your greatest strength? Me: I’m very independent. Him: … Me: … Him: … Me: Tell him, Mom. Mom: He is!
@1evilidiot: [couples therapy] "Have you tried sexy lingerie?" me: yeah but it just creeps her out.