@MrsTomServo: "Men are pigs" - misandrist &/or world's worst biologist
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@XplodingUnicorn: 4-year-old: We’re playing Star Wars. I’m a Jedi and Mom is a stormtrooper. Me: What am I? 4-year-old: In the way.
@chimneyspotter: [creating man] GOD: They need air to live ANGEL: Done G: And food A: Ok G: Use the same hole for air and food so they die sometimes A: wtf?
@HonestToddler: Tonight's bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeat home invasions. Thanks for the new fear.