@lizetagge: Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
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@LucTabone: #IAmHonoredBy my 12 year old telling me he needs me. He wanted a new gadget of course but the thought was there.
@chewlongkok_: Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
@RandomManik: My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven.
@DurtMcHurtt: [dinner at brother's house] "So where are the kids?" Brother: I grounded them. *spits out meatloaf*