@lilgapeach30: Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life.
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@FuckabillyRex: If you wear it all the time, you'll never know if she's in love with you, or your denim vest, and the chances are it's the vest.
@dshack8: Parents w/ 1st kid: *Peels grape & slices it into 84 tiny pieces. Parents w/ 4th kid: *Gives kid knife & fork to cut their own steak.
@TheAlexNevil: Darth: You should not have come back, old man. Obi Wan: I DIDN'T. I was going to Alderaan. You caught our ship with a tractor beam. Idiot.
@doktorj: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie. Partly because I walk around with a bullwhip, but mostly because of all the cobwebs.