@MoistPork: Men: Don't lie to your woman, she'll catch you. Don't tell her the truth, she'll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head.
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@Death_Buddy: HYPNOTIST: YOU ARE FEELING SLEEPY ME: kinda safe bet there HYPNOTIST: YOU WILL DANCE LIKE AN OCTOPUS ME: again, still no surprises.
@Iwriteforcats: Hideous monsters for sale! Selling cheap! Crazy wild beasts! Won't last long! "Honey, stop trying to sell the kids."
@pinningnut: N: Why are you picking up rocks? M: I'm starting a rock band. Neighbor walks away. That is how you get people to leave you alone.
@Darlainky: If you missed any of the most recent presidential debate, you can catch one side of it on any given Facebook friend's page.