@roggyie: Men in suits look really successful until you find out they work for the men in T-shirts and jeans
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@foodfacenow: Me:*shows up to 1st date with giraffe* Her: OMG, can this date get any better Me:*pulls out saddle* You bet giraffe it can
@bug_deal: the statue of liberty was a trojan horse thing but it was too hard to break out of and it’s full of skeletons now
@notalogin: [2 Humans who definitely aren't lizard people at Denny's] 1: I sure am glad they don't have newt brain on the menu 2: Right on, fellow human
@Parentpains: Good thing some people show their bare chest in their profile pic, otherwise we wouldn't have known they had a torso.