@jonnysun: men r from mars , women r frm venus , neither are capable of reproducton or space travel so species dies out [RECALIBRATE SIMULATION?] <Y/N>
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@peterjames48: "I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now.
@SortaBadass: When Kate Middleton goes into labor, the doctor will say "the baby is crowning!" and they'll laugh and laugh
@radtoria: 1st baby: you make sure he's breathing every five minutes 2nd baby: someone replaced him with a ham in the crib and you don't even notice
@SeanINCypress: Movies taught me that if your kid is talking to ghosts, alone in their room, leave that brat in there, and run while you're still alive.