@mcclure111: Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Mayonnaise is cum. When you put it on a sandwich, you're spreading cum on your bread. When you ask for it on a burger, you ordered cum.
@jordan_stratton: [job interview] Look. First, you give me a job. Then I get paid. THEN I'll be able to buy pants. I can't just skip ahead to the last step.
@themorris23: My wife calls it "woman's intuition" but I call it "not clearing your browser history."