@mcclure111: Men statistically have larger brains than women, which is why men are usually smarter and elephants rule us all from their laser-hovercraft
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@Chumpstring: [robber pulls gun] ME: take my money but please don't hurt me i'm an only child MY DAD: [yelling from the car] he's lying he has a brother
@my_minivan_life: 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ... 6yo: ... 8yo: ....Punches 6yo in the face. Me: Woah,what the hell was that for? 8yo: He knows.
@Los01001111: I'm pretty sure God and Satan are both women, because who else would hold a grudge for that long?