@iamk1ts: Men: The Only creature blessed with the superpowers to make Any machine a smoke machine in kitchen especially when his wife isn't home.
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@david8hughes: "I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."
@GrantTanaka: *strips off clothes, stands on desolate highway holding sign saying "Last Naked Guy For 75 Miles"
@JackieluvsUK: Gonna start feeding my dog condoms, so when she poops they're already in tiny little bags!
@Nickadoo: "I just died in your arms" sounds much more romantic than "You're holding a dead body."