@JTQuest: Men think of arguments as single isolated events. Women, in my experience, think of them as installments in some sort of perpetual continuum
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@DONTJIMMYMEJULZ: When speaking to children I always end every sentence with "...or else you'll die. " - I find this to be an excellent motivational tool.
@PaperWash: [1st date] me: are you cold? date: *shivering* a little me: *putting second hoody on* that sucks
@grimpossible: If you fall down in public the best thing to do is stay down, use your fingernails to dig your way to another country then start a new life.
@MsLighthouseCat: Texans can't comprehend vegans. We just think their barbeque grills are broken.