@sarcasm_inc: Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper.
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@AnkCoupleTO: Her: The laundry pods are missing! Me: Oh really? H: Did you eat them again? M: Absolutely not *burps bubbles* why? H: JUST CALL IT A HUNCH!
@hippieswordfish: weird that u can die from drinkin too much water but also die from not drinking enough water. Also u will die even drinking the right amount
@NikatNiteNite: Men go to bars for 2 reasons: 1) They don't have a wife to go home to. 2) They have a wife to go home to.