@sarcasm_inc: Men used to slay dragons, and here I am shuffling around like a penguin with my pants around my ankles looking for extra toilet paper.
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@lovemydogduck: I really hate working late. My ride turns into a pumpkin and I always end up losing a shoe.
@capricecrane: People who love dark chocolate are always so snobby about it. Relax. It's just chocolate, you elitist ninnies.
@doctorveritas: "It's possible to touch birds!" I say suddenly. My coworkers stare at me. I wander outside to touch some birds.
@baseballchickie: First rule of being Italian is to tell everyone you're Italian. (I can say this cause I'm Italian.)