@biggt1973: Mental note, its inappropriate, according to the HR department, to put your hand on the back of a female coworkers head as she eats a banana
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@stephenjmolloy: Waiter: "I'm afraid your credit card has been declined." Me: "Try this one." W: "This is a blood donor card." M: "Take as much as you need."
@AndrewNadeau0: Actually, not all of the creatures from Jurassic Park were from the Jurassic period. Jeff Goldblum, for example. He’s from now.
@cray_at_home_ma: Hubs: Kids are still asleep! Know what that means? Me: We have to be quick! *Runs to the hidden box of Cocoa Puffs and pours 2 big bowls*