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@EliBraden: 71-yr-old Jimmy Page is dating a 25-yr-old. The age difference may seem huge now, but it won't be as big a deal when she's 28 and he's dead.
@BuckyIsotope: In his college years Jesus could turn oregano into weed
@VeganZebra: WIFE: no no no I loved your vows I just thought you could've used the word 'bloodthirsty' a little less
@RandomlyMJ: *hits on a guy*
He's bleeding. I think I'm doing this wrong.
@NicestHippo: *notices zipper is down*
*zips it up*
FRIEND: Thanks but next time just tell me and I'll do it myself