@daemonic3: Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race.
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@michael_raphone: INTERVIEWER: under skills you've listed "gets jokes" ME: haha, very good. good one sir, haha
@trevso_electric: If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say "congratulations on your first book!"
@itshotterhere: Never trust someone who says you're more important than cheese. It's an obvious lie.