@daemonic3: Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: GF told me she wanted to write her "biography" & I said "autobiography" & now there's a chapter where I sleep at my place.
@moooooog35: Mechanic: Your car won't pass inspection Me: Here's $20 to look the other way Mechanic [looking other way]: Your car won't pass inspection
@markleggett: I don't like it when a pretty girl with glasses takes them off, and her eyes were actually painted onto the inside of the lenses.