@daemonic3: Mermaids: Can't live with them, can't beat them in a potato sack race.
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@amhw: Coffee: Because when you're groggy and barely coherent, the first thing you should do is handle a scalding hot cup of liquid.
@ojedge: [first day as a masseuse] Me: [closing book] "…& they all lived happily ever after" Customer: "That's not what I meant by 'happy ending'"
@juneohara65: Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store.