@SincerelyTumblr: mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
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@jessokfine: Witches these days have it so easy. Do you know how hard it used to be to find so many newts? Now you get them with free 2 day shipping.
@withanewname: Teacher: We're going to need you to work with your daughter on humility. Me: I was never good with weather stuff but I'll give it a shot.
@this503girl: Recently found out I'm not the devil. I read the tag on my underpants incorrectly; it said "Satin". Oops.