@JRehling: Mermaids who never get married eventually accumulate a bunch of catfish.
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@Brianhopecomedy: MISSING: 5 year old LAST SEEN: Moments after I said, "Bath time." DESCRIPTION: Naked, sporting 20-23 Spider-Man band-aids
@TheBeerGuy73: Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming? ROFLMFAO! JK! Lolz Ttyl KK Ur BFF, Hannibal ~ Hannibal Lecter discovers text messages
@WilliamAder: Do those "selfie sticks" retract, or do you just have to walk around like a doofus with a stick all day?