@causticbob: Merry Christmas. The three wise men.
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@novicefather: I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years.
@QwertyJones3: BOSS: This team isn't performing, hire someone with a good track record [2 wks later] ME: I'd like you to meet our new employee, Usain Bolt
@slimmy_shady: 1) "Obamas spying on you."2) "Eh. Cost of being free!"1) "Obama wants to give you healthcare."2) "WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?"
@anerdonfire2: It's when I saw the children playing with their toys completely wrong that I knew I had to step in