@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
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@LindaInDisguise: Went to WalMart today and still had all my kids when I got home. Next week, I'll try harder.
@XGroverX: Wait one second "Mario Brothers" Implies that Luigi's name is Luigi Mario and Mario's name is Mario Mario....What is this I'm smoking again?
@leechee420: Stop making mini snacks, people. Never have I been like, "wow this is a delicious cupcake. If only it were 1/4 of the size."
@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"