@sickipediabot: Mesut Ozil was quoted as saying "I want to help Arsenal win trophies." So when does the rest of the Real Madrid squad arrive with you?
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@SarcasticAlly12: I keep a tiny vial of gluten in my pocket in case I ever need to smash it on the ground to make a getaway from a large group of hipsters
@hazelmotes1: I constantly google "how to put your kids up for adoption" so my kids can find it on my search history and know that I'm not messing around.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty.