@carlyken: Met a cute guy at the gym we like all the same movies and he loved my shoes. We have a movie date tonight and he's bringing his boyfriend.
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@JennyJohnsonHi5: Watching my mom use an iPhone is like watching a 12 year old girl try and contact her dead grandma on a Ouija board.
@jwoodham: "Friends" ended 10 years ago today, but thanks to television, "me having friends" ended long before that.
@SomthinBoutSara: If you want me to save a horse and ride a cowboy, you better spare a tree and eat a beaver.
@Ms_Shazam: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go." - Me to my children.