@carlyken: Met a cute guy at the gym we like all the same movies and he loved my shoes. We have a movie date tonight and he's bringing his boyfriend.
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@mattytalks: She was a fax machine She kept her modem clean She was the best damn printer that I've ever seen
@cerebralbeef: The way to cure your loneliness is to get on out there! But first, be better looking. And stop being yourself, that's obviously not working.
@carlyken: Noah's Ark was so unrealistic. Have you ever tried to pen up velociraptors? Did the guy who wrote the Bible even watch Jurassic Park first?