@timdonakowski: Met a guy from Iraq today who grew a full beard as I was meeting him.
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@DanMentos: "If you're having girl? Problems. I feel bad. For you? Son." -Russian guy telling his pregnant wife he hopes it's a boy.
@plethoricjake: As a child whenever I asked my parents to close the closet at night they always said. "Why? Anything that could kill you can open that door"
@space0tter: *Cop yells at dog* LADY WHAT ARE U DOING *dog continues to give birth* THATS IT UR GETTING A TICKET FOR *looks directly at camera* LITTERING