@timdonakowski: Met a guy from Iraq today who grew a full beard as I was meeting him.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@heatherlou_: A "good parenting" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Be back after lunch! Boss: OK Me: *texts boss APRIL FOOLS LOL* *goes home, turns on baseball*
@tastefactory: [at subway] And just a little lettuce. *the guy starts backing a truck full of lettuce toward my sandwich & the truck is beeping* No wait.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: I wish I could re-enact the fantasy scenes from 50 shades of grey. Like the one where she gets a job right after college