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@weinerdog4life: Met someone on Craigslist, guess I'm dating a grill now.
@sweet_toof: "All lower case?" -your mom getting an email address
@pungodly: Doctor: are you sexually active?
Me: I usually stay pretty still.
@Adar79Angie: Since Walking Dead isn't on I've hid pot from my stoner friends. As they amble around looking for it I'm shooting them with paint ball guns.
@RobDenBleyker: Butt weight. There's more!
@TomItUp: "You're the Garbage Man, eh? What's your super power?"
"I'm just here to take out the trash."
"Whoa, we'll get to your catch phrase later."