@weinerdog4life: Met someone on Craigslist, guess I'm dating a grill now.
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@jaslakhmna: While people argue about the glass being half empty or half full...I'll just be drinking from the bottle !
@3sunzzz: [aquarium exit] Excuse me ma'am, would you mind opening your bag? I beg your pardon?! OPEN YOUR BAG *opens bag and reveals two penguins*