@bromanconsul: met the cutest girl today. her eyes were gentle, like the light from a phone screen and her smile glowed, like the light from a phone screen
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@crylenol: *Ouija board begins spelling* H-A-V-E_S-O-M-E "Ooooh, spooky" G-R-A-N-D-C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N "Dammit Grandma, haunt someone else"
@SveldtSmelt: I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.
@zgbetty: The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
@Tmoney68: *the fog lifts* *the fog eats a high protein-low fat diet* *the fog does cardio* *the fog is fit af*