@AcceptableLoses: Met the daughter's new boy friend. Grabbed his crotch and whispered 'looking forward to tonight's three way'... And that is that.
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@Daniel_Sloss: Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!
@Playing_Dad: I once sat down with Oprah to discuss my drug use but I was high & that might not have been Oprah because why did she need to borrow money?
@theshamingofjay: A disease that kills you and can only be spread through the transmission of bodily fluids. Are we sure we're not talking about marriage?
@MsCassieDaniels: Disease doesn't care if you are a celebrity, Micheal J. Fox has battled Parkinson for 22 years, and Jamie Lee Curtis is super irregular!