@Cajun_Ninja: Met this nice girl at the mall today. Her name was No. and coincidentally her number was also No.
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@KKAlThani: Whenever I go for a jog and it's raining, I like to pretend that someone killed my family and I have to get strong and avenge their death.
@realHamOnWry: My nephew asked, 'How will I know when I'm an adult?' and I said, ' When you hear your favorite Justin Bieber song playing in an elevator'
@NervousJr: "I can't wait until this one orange erases years of poor eating choices." -me, dieting