@Cajun_Ninja: Met this nice girl at the mall today. Her name was No. and coincidentally her number was also No.
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@NakedHangover: Trojan should be sponsoring Teen Mom. That show is the best advertisement for why you should always wear condoms.
@squirrel74wkgn: Tried using a time machine to go back to my wedding day & talk some sense into a much younger me, but I got the date wrong.
@leshnevsky: 40 years later: - Grandpa, sing me a song of your youth. - Oppa Gangnam Style. Opp, opp, opp, opp!
@bobvulfov: *couple's marriage begins to fall apart* *marriage counselor blows on them like an N64 cartridge* Okay how about now