@dxblarssonENG: Meth addicts gets all their drug money from the tooth fairy.
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "Can I buy you a drink?" Her: "I have a boyfriend." Me to barman: "A beer for me and a 'I have a boyfriend' for the lady."
@That_Damn_Duck: If you feel like your parents didn't hug you enough as a child then it's probably because they didn't really want you. Good talk.
@Tmoney68: I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
@jwoodham: In a parallel universe somewhere, all the Pumpkin Spice Lattes are getting really excited for White Girl season at Starbucks.