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@littlekitnerboy: Meth, because teeth are annoying.
@ClassicMegan: Pro tip: when you have a drug test and they tell you to go to the bathroom in the cup, that means PEE. Always.
@robfee: Johnny Depp could lose 250 hands of strip poker in a row and wouldn't even have all his thumb rings off yet.
@Crunch11b: I self medicate, therefore you live.
@aka_fatman: Hamburgler: Success! Look at this amazing haul of these McDonald's burgers!
Hamburgler's Mum: *sobbing* Your brother is an architect.