@littlekitnerboy: Meth, because teeth are annoying.
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@Mikecanrant: In my most recent study, Ive found that saying "I'll have a chicken pot pie, extra pot" to KFC employees gets a laugh 4 out of 10 times.
@SirEviscerate: You guys, I just submitted a tweet to Twitter, and they accepted it and put it on their website!
@JohnLyonTweets: [nearing end of first date] Me: I'll give you a call later, OK? Her: *throws phone in river* I lost my phone.