@ohheyitszara: Michael Cera and Jesse Eisenberg bump into each other, say sorry awkwardly, then try to sidestep each other but keep stepping the same way.
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@aka_fatman: *writing résumé* Strengths? I'm great at multitasking *explosion in kitchen* My popcorn! *car crashes through fence* I forgot I was driving!
@iGreenMonk: A boy met a girl She:Every time u smile, I feel like inviting u to my place He(smiling):Why thank u.. are u single? She:No, I'm a dentist
@Garblemarble: Alien: we are here to enslave you Me: *not looking up from phone* huh? Alien: I SAID.. Me: *still not looking up* yeah I said I'll do it