@AlexRogaski: Michael Cera forgets to do laundry and has to wear a doctor costume to the hospital. He's too shy to refuse people and performs 3 surgeries.
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@WheelTod: Probably the worst part about being a snail is how you can't put salt on your French fries.
@chunkypony: *leaves one gummy bear in the packet* i'm letting you live so you can go back to your king and tell him to send the rest of his troops
@Phoebetate: To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy.
@SkinnerSteven: HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress...it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"